Domestic abuse is when someone close to you (usually your spouse, partner, ex-spouse, or ex-partner) behaves towards you in a way that causes physical, mental, or emotional damage. It need not necessarily be physical violence.
The facts
Domestic abuse accounts for almost a quarter of all violent crime, and around one in four women has experienced domestic abuse at some point in their life. Domestic abuse usually affects women, but many men are abused by their partners as well.
Domestic abuse is understood widely to include acts that, while not physically violent, enable a person to exercise control and power over another. You might be afraid of shouting and rows, constantly being insulted or belittled, or being deprived of money, for example. As with most things, what is acceptable behaviour will vary from relationship to relationship. However, if your partner does anything that frightens or controls you, it could be domestic abuse.
Physical abuse
Physical attacks are the most obvious sign of domestic violence. They don't need to leave visible marks to be damaging. Physically abusive acts can include:
- slapping and punching
- hair pulling
- scalding or burning
- strangling
- throwing and breaking things
- the use of weapons such as knives.
Mental/emotional abuse
Mentally abusive acts attack your personality and emotional well-being rather than your body. Mental abuse is not as obvious as physical abuse, but it can be just as harmful. It can include:
- humiliation
- constant criticism
- verbal abuse and name calling
- imposition of unreasonable rules and ultimatums
- enforced isolation from friends and family
- threats against you or others you are close to (eg your children or pets)
- destruction of belongings
- excessive jealousy and possessiveness
- control over what you wear and how you look.
Sexual abuse
Sexual abuse can include:
- rape
- forced participation in sexual acts you're uncomfortable with.
Financial abuse
Financial abuse is where one partner deprives the other of their financial independence. For example, where one partner is the wage earner in a relationship, and the other looks after the children, the wage-earning partner does not give the carer enough money to meet everyone's needs.
What can I do?
If you feel that you are being abused, there are organisations that can help you.
You will also need to think about whether you should leave your current home, or whether you can stay there and improve safety.
